[fanfic] [vampire diaries] you will know that I am gone

[bromantic.livejournal.com]

the first five years were confusing. stefan remembers blood, remembers necks, the receding lines leaning into young bodies, the hollow of their throats as his eyes turn them inside out and outside in. he tries to remember faces, the blues of eyes, the hint of comeliness, but they all fade before the need to drown. and damon drowns, every day for five years and it is damon's face he sees when he kisses her throat and damon's smile reflected in her eyes, a grin that curves up into a parody of his own.

the next twenty years, damon grows bored and stefan grows weary. They stay at a truckstop for a week. stefan likes the waitress with her demure face and warm lips. when he kisses her at the back, she tastes like coffee, rich and black. damon hadn't been too happy though, when he traces a finger of stefan's lips and sucks on it thoughtfully.

no good, she's no good, brother, damon saiys winking, let's move on.

stefan thought to protest. but they move on.

thirty years into travelling and stefan's sick of himself, sick of his reflection, sick of the blood and the namelessness, while damon revels in the beauty of the gore, the horrific, the silent screaming, and whenever stefan thinks to break away, damon would chase, grab him and hold him down, his eyes blazing, but his smile fixed.

you owe me this, damon reminds stefan, and stefan closes his eyes because it hurts when damon says it out loud.

for ten years, stefan lives away from damon, he finds a small place, he hides away, but his neighbour is nice, visits him with pie and sometimes they sit on the porch, watching grey american skies darken. and one night, damon crawls back, ripping out everyone throats and told stefan this is what you get for running away and stefan wants to cry, wants to shake his brother, wants to hold his brother and say i'm sorry i hurt you, please stop, but stefan says nothing, as damon pulls him back into the dark.

when they reached their hundred mark, and damon pulls out the booze and pours over a dead girl's face while stefan grimaces in the background. and damon tugs his brother towards, stinking of lust, said, we have each other forever. just like you wanted.

and stefan crumbles.