[fanfic] [supernatural] On the Flip-side

[bromantic.livejournal.com]

“Cas.”

“Dean. May I come in?”

“Yeah, sure, Lise and Ben aren’t in at the moment.”

“Where are they?”

“Ben had a basketball game.”

“Why did you not go to fetch him?”

“She doesn’t like me leaving the house. She thinks if I’m outside too long, I’ll take off and run.”

“Is she wrong?”

“… You hungry?”

“Angels don’t eat, Dean. You know that.”

“I’ll make you a peanut butter sandwich.”

“…”

“So why are you here anyway? Things not in tip-top shape in Heavenland?”

“We are … in the process of reorganizing ourselves.”

“Great, good for you, Dudley Do Right.”

“I don’t know who that is.”

“Forget it. So you’ve been busy. Is this a social call then?”

“You have not been far from my thoughts, Dean.”

“I would have never guessed from your goodbye.”

“Why?”

“I’ve had warmer ones at funerals. Oh man, forgot Lisa had, like, every kind of bread ever. Which one do you want?”

“Dean.”

“Pick a damn bread type, Cas.”

“You are avoiding the topic.”

“Damn right, I’m avoiding the topic.”

“… I would have the wholegrain bread.”

“Finally—wait, which one is that—oh that one, okay, no problem.”

“…”

“What?”

“You are angry.”

“Nothing gets past you.”

“Would you have liked me to stay?”

“…”

“…”

“I wouldn’t have said that.”

“No. Your capacity to be selfish is below the minimum, Dean.”

“What else is new?”

“No, it is not new.”

“Is that all you’re here for?”

“I am also waiting for my sandwich.”

“I thought angels don’t eat.”

“That does not mean we cannot. Also, you made it for me.”

“I still remember your love for Whitecastle.”

“I do miss it. Sometimes.”

“Really?”

“I mean that.”

“… Huh.”

“Dean.”

“Yeah?”

“Why did you not ask me to stay?”

“Because you wouldn’t. Don’t you have more important things to do than babysitting me all over again?”

“That is not how I saw it.”

“What did you see it as then?”

“As a partnership.”

“… Oh. … Wow.”

“…?”

“That’s. … That’s pretty, uh, forward.”

“I fail to understand what you mean, Dean.”

“Yeah, it’s just a human thing.”

“Dean. Simply because I am an angel again, does not mean I do not remember what it is like to be human.”

“… Really?”

“Yes.”

“… Does it bother you?”

“It does. The feeling is as if there are two …souls living in one skin, two sets of memories trying to exist with each other.”

“…”

“You are blaming yourself.”

“Yeah, well, it can’t be easy.”

“It is not. Yet, it is bearable. I would not give it up.”

“You’ve changed.”

“Haven’t we all?”

“…”

“Would you run?”

“Maybe. I keep thinking about it, just grabbing my keys and leaving. Never looking back. Thing is though… I always look back.”

“Does it hurt?”

“Yeah. But I rather have that than nothing.”

“…I see.”

“You could stay over longer. If you wanted to.”

“No, I should return.”

“… Yeah, guess so. I… I’ll see you later. Right?”

“… Dean.”

“What?”

“Thank you for the sandwich.”

“Oh, uh, no problem, man.”

“And Dean.”

“Now what is it?”

“It was not easy to say goodbye. I find it still isn’t. I suppose a ‘I will see you again’ might suffice.”

“…”

“Will that do?”

“… Yeah, Cas. That’ll do.”